The Ultimate Collection of Husband Wife Jokes: Humor for Married Couples Page-5

Wife: “Did you remember to buy the milk?”

Husband: “I knew I was forgetting something creamy and essential. I got ice cream!”

Husband: “Why is there a calendar in the kitchen labeled ‘Days Without Chocolate’?”

Wife: “It’s my new diet plan. So far, it’s been zero days.”

Wife: “Do you ever think about the future?”

Husband: “All the time, especially when I can’t find my glasses.”

Husband: “I’ve decided to take up photography.”

Wife: “That’s a good hobby. What will you capture first?”

Husband: “A nap.”

Wife: “I’m thinking of learning a musical instrument.”

Husband: “The guitar? The piano?”

Wife: “No, the silent whistle.”

Husband: “I bought a new belt today.”

Wife: “For fashion or function?”

Husband: “For motivation. It’s one size too small.”

Wife: “How do you organize a space party?”

Husband: “I don’t know, how?”

Wife: “You planet. Just like how I plan everything else for us.”

Husband: “Why is there a lemon in the shower?”

Wife: “I thought it might be a-peel-ing for our morning routine.”

Wife: “Did you take out the trash?”

Husband: “I thought we were going for a ‘rustic’ look in the living room.”

Husband: “Let’s play hide and seek.”

Wife: “Only if you promise not to hide in front of the TV again.”