The Ultimate Collection of Husband Wife Jokes: Humor for Married Couples Page-2

Wife: “Honey, have you seen my book on ‘How to Solve Puzzles’?”

Husband: “I might’ve put it somewhere you’d never think to look.”

Wife: “Where?”

Husband: “The bookshelf.”


Husband: “I’ve found a new way to remember our anniversaries!”

Wife: “Setting a reminder on your phone?”

Husband: “No, forgetting it once.”


Wife: “Why are you watching the cooking channel? You don’t even cook!”

Husband: “You watch superhero movies, don’t you?”


Husband: “Every time I talk, you seem to get annoyed. Why?”

Wife: “It’s not when you talk, it’s just the ‘whenever you talk during my favorite show’ part.”


Wife: “I have a surprise for you!”

Husband: “Is it another plant for our garden?”

Wife: “No, it’s a new garden for our plants!”


Husband: “I was thinking of a romantic getaway.”

Wife: “Paris? Venice?”

Husband: “The living room without the kids.”


Wife: “I wish I could see the world from your perspective.”

Husband: “It’s easy. Just leave socks everywhere and forget where the dishwasher is.”


Husband: “Why is the computer in the freezer?”

Wife: “It had too many windows open and needed to cool down.”


Wife: “Let’s play a game. Whoever talks first loses.”

Husband: “Okay.”

Wife (5 minutes later): “Do you even realize you left the car lights on?”


Husband: “I’m learning a new language.” Wife: “Which one?” Husband: “Yours. After all these years, still trying to decode ‘fine’ and ‘whatever’.”